Silent treatment vs Self-Soothing

How do you and your spouse communicate when one of you is hurt and angry? Do you play with mind games and punish your partner with silence? Or do you soothe and calm yourself down? Find out here how to distinguish between silent treatment and self-soothing. 1. Silent treatment punishes your partner while self-soothing calms […]

Couple Problem: Contradicting financial goals

Mark and Lisa, a young couple married for two months, came to me for counseling. They couldn’t seem to find a solution with their contradicting financial goals. Mark wanted to be generous with his family-of-origin — treating them dinners regularly and shouldering family vacations occasionally. On the other hand, Lisa wanted to save as much […]

When he fell out of love

A wife wrote about her husband who told her that he has fallen out of love. He said that he still cares, but feels no spark anymore. This sentiment is not new to hear. I guess it’s being used by people who want an easy way out of the relationship. Now I can’t help but […]

BF-GF vs Hubby-Wifey

I stumbled upon a question in Girltalk about the difference in the relationship between dating couples and married couples. What changed between then and now? So instead of posting my answer there, I decided to share it on my blog instead. So here’s our experience then and now: Noon – lagi ko syang gustong kasama, […]

Do you love your husband more than yourself?

In counseling, I’ve encountered several women who don’t know if they love themselves or not, much less identify the ways with which they are loving themselves. To them, loving oneself seems foreign, like it was the first time they’ve ever heard of it. They were the only one doing all the job in a toxic […]

Confiding to your spouse

Two weeks ago, I took a projective test to fulfill one of our requirements in my graduate course work. In this projective test, I was asked to narrate my own story based on my interpretation of a particular picture assigned to me.  This revealed my internal thought process at the time when I took the […]

Emotionally Distant Husband

S described her marriage as emotionally draining, unfulfilling, and frustrating. She feels so alone in her six years of marriage as her husband could not emotionally connect with her. Sometimes it feels like she`s married to a robot, someone who is incapable and uncomfortable with any display of emotion. She is tired in engaging her […]